Side effects.
Samma dödsångest men med skillnaden att jag trodde att jag fick en akut allergisk reaktion (alltså en sällsynt biverkning) från Heracillin tabletterna. Jag har/hade även drabbats av svampinfektion, nässelutslag och svullnad i ansiktet. Så jag ringde mamma mitt i natten och var helt övertygad om att jag plötsligt kunde dö. Det var verkligen en sådan där extrem dödsångest, som fick mig att tänka i spiraler om Hellre att jag skär upp handlederna så att jag kan dö snabbt och slippa den här känslan, men det gör ont och blir jobbigt för tänk om jag överlever det här, men jag vill inte stå ut för jag måste agera nu annars dör jag om jag somnar, men jag vill ju inte dö så vad ska jag göra?
Sedan gick både mamma och pappa upp (trots att de ska jobba tidigt dagen därpå) och satte sig i vardagsrummet med mig tills jag hade lugnat ner mig, panikattacken varade i ungefär två timmar men jag lyckades inte somna förrän 03.00 där.
Så nej, det var ingen allergisk reaktion på penicillinet, det var bara bieffekterna som börjat smyga fram från Sertralinet (vilket är lite förvirrande då min läkare sade att jag inte skulle känna av tabletterna förrän om några veckor, men jag förstår nu att han menar dess positiva effekter). Mamma läste från bipacksedeln (för att visa att det var min medicin som spökade - tagit korrekt dos under fyra dagar - inte hjärtat eller halsen). Det är en väldigt lång lista och jag kan ärligt säga att jag gick igenom 2/3 av dem. På samma kväll, under loppet av tre timmar. Hemskt.
Jag vet inte hur läslig min handstil är (eller hur mycket ni orkar läsa) men jag skrev ner alla symptom jag upplevde (under dessa fyra dagar i viss mån men majoriteten var som värst just igår).
De som besvärar mig mest är sömnlöshet, huvudvärk, illamående, halsont, minskat sexuellt intresse, tandagnisslan, magont, utslag, ökade svettningar, muskelvärk, sexuella störningar och likgiltighet, ofrivilliga muskelsammandragningar, onormal koordination, minnesförlust, svårigheter att svälja, nässelfeber, behöva kissa oftare och tillslut självmordstankar, svårigheter att röra sig, ökad- & störd sinnesförnimmelse, ljuset sticker i ögonen och att man blir täppt i halsen. Usch!
Är väldigt skakis (känslig?) idag och förutom en värdelös aptit så är ångestnivån hanterbar! Ska passa på att ta igen lite vila (eftersom jag är under så mycket medicinsk stress just nu, om inte annat så bekämpar min kropp fortfarande förkylningen), duscha och slänga i några tvättar; städa omgivningen och förhoppningsvis följer psyket med. Vet att jag gör så här efter varje panikattack, och om de kommer oftare så lär jag ligga utslagen "och ta det lugnt" konstant. Men hellre en lång period då jag är försiktig än en kortare då jag kör slut på mig själv för att jag stressar fram någonting som ändå kommer inträffa någon dag i framtiden (jobb, lägenhet).
Kram på er, hoppas att ni inte är lika känsliga som jag då det gäller medicinering!
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